Rumination Year

by Matty Grace

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about

This recording is a snapshot of a time and place.

credits

released March 27, 2020

Recorded by Matty in February 2017
Produced/Mixed/Mastered by Dave Williams at 8FA

Guitar/Vocals - Matty
All Additional Instrumentation - Dave Williams

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all rights reserved

tags

about

Matty Grace

(She/her)
Songwriter
Sad Songs

High Trash Media

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Track Name: Connaught / Chebucto
wake up in this empty bed
my cluttered apartment
embracing neglect
wait for a bus that never comes
a succession of false starts and clumsy thumbs
is this it?

i digress
sometimes
cross these streets
by boarded up signs
wandering around the buildings i used to pass by
that no longer exist
or how casually the city seems to change without moving forward
it just persists

clocking in to pay to live
my entire existence is changing skin
inside to out

i digress sometimes
cross these streets
by boarded up signs
wandering about the buildings i used to pass by
that no longer exist
or how casually the city seems to change without moving forward
and why every old house is a new apartment i can't afford
and why every piece of advice
no longer applies

the rules you wrote and built this on will fall away
Track Name: Shuffling of an Endless Deck
head is throbbing
just proportionate to the knot in my stomach
or the ache in my heart
head is aching
keep finding solace in dissociating from everyone

take a stand
dont be forceful
choose to care
stay remorseful
these things all feel like uncertainties
and all the guilt I feel for wasting my twenties

win.
lose.
all.

i'm not existing anymore
i live my life with lights turned off
behind deadbolts
and those closed doors
push away any chance to feel
while everybody tries to convince me
that all of my feelings aren't real
try and hear the words you say
but im so inconsistent in the day to day

im so inconsistent in the day to day
Track Name: Four Daze
i cant relate
to anyone not even you
empty cries
i grasp for words
that only come from the bottom
of my floundering memory
and i can barely make it out of bed
much less the door most days
but i'd sit here on your floor for days

talking without words
to push back against the invisible wall
that nobody can see except for you and me
keep talking without words
to push back against the invisible wall
that nobody can see except for you and me
except for you and me
the unfortunate reality of this current situation
always leads me back to a beginning with no end
I guess i'll just keep tripping over myself
until you can come back again
Track Name: Drag Me Kicking And Screaming
the city bus is crowded now
with unhappy people looking down
they shuffle on and on and off
and on and on and off

foot in dirt
feet on pavement
shuffling through
when no one every really cares that much at all

this wasnt just a phase
my lens has always been too gray
for anyone to figure out what
im always struggling to say
about how I cant bang my head into this wall
hard enough for you to see that maybe im just falling apart
and even if i feel better
i sometimes get the feeling that maybe im wrong

maybe im wrong
Track Name: Resilience Is Hell
beneath the melting snow
revealing broken glass
of yesterdays
our youth
learning future lessons
of moving way too slow
cant get ahead

i guess i'll circle on this point

i've just run out of words
the wells beginning to run dry
embrace cliche
missing the point
the picture of health
but only because you
ignore the signs

the streets around this block
intersect with past mistakes
a vote of confidence in what is predetermined fate
but the only option that ever seems to present itself

resilience is hell
Track Name: This Rusted Bike Lock
keep towing the thin thin line of the space between
being a doormat and losing everyone and everything
when nobody seems to get why youre building walls
and pushing them away
words dont help when you've got nothing left to say

so let it all out

if i can just hold my breath
and count backwards from the end
of this muddled message
and this heartbroken statement
i would spend less time endlessly beating myself to death
just to claw and scratch
my way back up again

im out of apologies
twiddle my thumbs until they bleed
the city landscape tries to change
and i dont even know your name
echos in my head on mute
because we both know the truth
just want to feel the same
every seasons melting brain
echos in my head on mute
because we both know the truth
just want to feel the same
every seasons melting brain
im out of apologies
twiddle my thumbs until they bleed
the city landscape tries to change
and i dont even know your name

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